New Year, New Challenges

Each time January rolls around, we all start thinking about our New Year's Resolutions.  What are those things we will do to make us better?  Lose weight? Exercise more? Be more patient with the children? Read more? Spend more time with family? Say no more often? 

This year, I thought long and hard about what I wanted my resolution to be.  And I couldn't come up with anything.  It's not that I think I have hit perfection.  Far from it.  It's just that I feel like each resolution is just an empty promise...something I should be doing every day but don't, can't, won't. Or I am already trying my best.  

So what does that mean for me now? I think this year I will try to come up with challenges instead of resolutions.  Why?  Resolutions, to me, are so final.  "I am resolved to lose weight by next week!"  And if I don't?  Well, I guess I can't be trusted with my resolutions.  Challenges will allow me to try, fail, and try again.  Challenges will allow me to change direction as needed.  Challenges will allow me to recognize that life is still a journey.  Challenges are pliable.  

So...in the spirit of the new year...here are my New Year's Challenges.

• I am going to challenge myself to learn another language.
• The more global I become, the more irritated I am that I only speak one language.  I feel it is very self-serving to assume that everyone will be able to communicate with me in English.  And, yes, this has served me well to date.  But enough is enough. This might not happen this year but I will begin.  
• I am going to challenge myself to make peace with those I struggle to understand.

• I am faced with certain people who create drama every chance they can.  I am going to try to understand their need, in order to help me be more caring and accepting when faced with the drama.  I tend to avoid drama at all costs.  But I cannot always avoid these people so I must learn to understand and accept them the way they are.
• I am going to challenge myself to be more satisfied with my life.  
• I find myself constantly comparing my life to everyone else's.  Not my personal life, but my professional one.  Should I write another book? He did.  Should I apply for another award?  She did.  Should I join another organization, participate in another twitter chat, run another class?  They did.  I am going to really only choose those items I WANT to do, not choose items in order to out do someone else.  Teaching isn't a competition.  It's a calling.  I need to stop feeling like everyone else is just passing me by.  And I will begin as soon as I finish my ISTE award application.
• I am going to stop telling myself I am a failure if I don't meet a challenge as quickly as I hope to.  Challenges are trials.  Try and fail.  Try and fail.  Try, try, try.  

What will your challenges be for 2016?

My Classroom Philosophy

As we near the end of 2011, I am starting to get reflective about my life, my teaching, my students.  What has been good? What needs to change?  


In thinking about my teaching, I can't help but reconfirm my basic philosophy, since this affects everything I do in the classroom.  I have two main thoughts.


1. Every child in my classroom will be comfortable, supported, successful, and happy.
Sounds simple enough.  But sometimes it is exceedingly difficult. 


Comfortable I can handle.  There is a no tolerance policy in my school for bullying but I take it one step further in my classroom.  Mistakes are accepted, encouraged, recognized, named.  They are not laughed at EVER.  It usually only takes one time, one child laughing for me to stop this behavior.  But more than stopping it, I encourage my students to discuss their mistakes.  "Why did you get that math problem wrong?"  "What hurdles did you face while reading that book?"  By asking these questions, and others like them, often, I help my students understand that we are all struggling to learn and we can do this together. 


And this leads right into support. We have these discussions about struggles openly.  Johnny is working on self-control.  We will all help him by reminding him gently, kindly, as friends, to stop tapping his pencil.  Sally is working on memorizing her addition facts, while everyone else is up to multiplication?  We will kindly ask her math fact questions throughout the day and celebrate when she finally gets it. Katy has been working on remembering to use reading strategies to help her understand better?  Steve will work with her, since this is also his struggle.  Support from others helps the students overcome their embarrassment.  And it helps them work harder.


Successful - hmmmm.  This one is a bit more difficult.  We tend to think of success in terms of test scores and reading levels.  But, I have come to realize that, sometimes, children first need to be available to learn before we can begin to teach them.  Behaviorally and emotionally, children have to want to continue to learn.  And so often, our students are beaten down before they ever get to us.  I make it a point, each year, to welcome each child into the room.  I will ignore the comments from other teachers about how difficult Billy is to handle, how many times he spent with the principal, how often the parents have to be called, how lazy he is, how rude he is, how unmotivated he is.  This is a new year and I will pretend I have never heard any of it. 


Expectations mean a lot.  I often find that, when I expect these students to be "good," they are.  When I expect them to be kind, and point out kindnesses in themselves and others, they work harder to be kind.  I help them make friends, change attitudes, and feel more comfortable.  And none of that happens overnight.  So often, these children are only successful in finally being available to learn.  And then the year is over and test scores are still low and reading level is still poor and I feel like a failure.  Until I remind myself that this child was not even a student in September.  Going into the next grade, maybe he can carry some of those lessons with him and be a student from the very first day of school.


And so I move on to happy.  I do expect my students to be happy.  Happy does not mean complacent.  It means challenged and still having fun.  It means playing games, laughing, listening to music, getting comfortable, making choices and working hard.  It means struggling with something and finally succeeding.  It means celebrating accomplishments with each other.  It means having friends and feeling at home.  It means wanting to come to school each day and not wanting to leave.  This is a tall order.  Especially when children come from homes that don't make them so happy.  


Each morning I stand outside my room and shake hands with each child, saying hello, asking about their weekend or evening, giving a compliment, asking questions.  Sometimes they tell me sad stories about their evenings and I give them hugs.  Sometimes they tell me about new babies, or weddings, or family visiting.  And we laugh together.  Sometimes I hear about awards they've won, games they've played, and movies they've seen.  We connect.  And then, they can walk into the room, knowing that I care, that their classmates care, and they've let go of the outside world for a little while.


Sounds simple.  It takes so little time but it means so much.  It's a great way to start each day.  And it really does set them up for learning.  And, so many children like it that, as children walk past my room to go to their own classrooms, they stop for a handshake and a hello. 


And so we come to number 2.


2. I will do whatever is necessary to accomplish my first idea.


I will stop a lesson to address a hurt, an insult, a success, an important question.  I will have a class meeting if there is an issue we all need to address.  I will learn new tools to keep them motivated and excited about learning.  I will revamp, rewrite, rework units to make them more challenging and more fun.  I will work hard each night, each morning, each weekend, each vacation to insure that I meet my goals.  It's important.  It's a child's life.





Image: 'untitled' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29275360@N03/3072985236


Image: 'Brothers' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9619972@N08/1350940605


Image: 'Attitude: Honest' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36624823@N04/4934498430

Learning About My New Students?

August is coming to a close and soon school will begin here in New York.  A new year means new students, new parents, new personalities, new challenges, new everything.  Each year, at this time, I am faced with a decision - should I talk with former teachers about my new students or should I form my own opinions first? There are pros and cons to each choice.  


Maybe I will meet with former teachers and learn something about a student that will turn me off.  Now I have a preconceived notion about a child before ever meeting that child.  I had a situation like that last year.  A particularly challenging student was placed in my class.  His teacher spoke to me at length about his behavior.  By the time our conversation was done, I did not want this child in my class.  Why go through the hassle?  But, of course, I don't pick and choose.  He came into the room.  I had a difficult time seeing past the behaviors that had been described to me to really see this child.  He turned out to be funny and charming.  And his behaviors were manageable.  But it took a long time for me to see that.  


Maybe I will meet with former teachers and learn something about a student that just isn't correct.  I remember one very bright child I had a few years ago.  His former teacher found him arrogant and rude.  I found him to be the most considerate student I have ever taught.  Where did she see arrogance?  He was smarter than she.  He was smarter than me, too.  So he questioned everything.  I found this exciting.  She found it rude.  


I often find that I feel differently about students than other teachers.  Students who cause trouble are my specialty.  I find them to be a challenge and usually end up favoring them as I get to know them and find out why they cause trouble.  (Shhh.  Don't tell anyone I have favorites.)  But when I talk to former teachers about these students, I hear only negatives.


But sometimes a teacher has been successful dealing with a particular student and his/her struggles.  It then benefits me to speak with him/her.  A simple conversation telling me that "Susie" needs frequent breaks to avoid meltdowns can save me tons of aggravation.


Sometimes teachers have good advice for working with certain parents.  Telling me that Mrs. X has a different last name than her child and insists on us using it is important.  Letting me know that Mr. Y will call every day if I don't send home an email letting him know about his child saves me endless hours on the phone.  And being sure that I understand that a translator is needed when meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Z, helps me get on the right track to a good partnership.


So the problem I have each year is this.  How do you know when you should talk about a child and when you shouldn't?  Sometimes that choice is easy.  I refuse to talk to the teachers who only tell me negative things about the children.  There have to be some good things to say about each one.  But sometimes the decision is more difficult.  How do I know why a former teacher had difficulty with a student?  Maybe it was because his methods of dealing with said student were different than mine would be.  Maybe I will be more successful simply because I try something new.


What to do?  What to do?  Responsive Classroom says to learn about the students.  But I think I will stick with my usual plan....get to know the students on my own.  Be respectful to all of them.  Think the best.  Then when I have struggles, I can go to the former teacher with very specific questions instead of a general, "Tell me about Johnny."


How do you handle this decision?


Image: 'Support "Set For Success" School Supply Drive'
www.flickr.com/photos/24639568@N00/2768163918
Image: 'scream and shout' 
www.flickr.com/photos/91883096@N00/3766009204
Image: 'This is the face of arrogance' 
www.flickr.com/photos/78707360@N00/3654517945
Image: 'Studying' 
www.flickr.com/photos/71235231@N00/57364421
Image: 'Not all questions can be answered by+Google' 
www.flickr.com/photos/99564668@N00/3885498720

An Interesting Vacation

Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation.  This was a long one, running from December 24th to January 4th.  I had every minute planned out and was really looking forward to the vacation.  And then reality hit.


We were supposed to head to Florida on the 24th, spending most of the vacation visiting my sister in Weston and my mother-in-law in Margate.  I haven't seen my sister or my five year old nephew, Henry, in about a year and haven't seen my 90 year old mother-in-law in about 2 years.  My brother-in-law and his wife were also coming, as were my husband's nephew with his three teenage boys.  The last time we saw this nephew, he was a teenager himself.  It's been quite a while.  So we bought Christmas gifts, spoke on the phone about all the arrangements for our big Christmas get together, hooked up on Facebook, and began to get excited.  


The plan was we were staying with my sister, who would pick us up at the airport on Thursday night.  Friday, Christmas day, we would head over to my MIL's early and see the Parisi clan, bringing my Jewish sister, her husband, and my nephew along for a big Christmas day. (I love mixing the holidays.)  

We had a few days to spend with the Parisis before Frank's brother headed back to Arizona and his nephew headed back to Texas.  We were going to go fishing, parasailing, and boating.  We were going to sit around the house and talk.  We were going to laugh and hug and catch up.  Ali, my daughter, would meet her cousins and hang out with three teenage boys! Once the Parisis all left, we would spend more time with my sister and nephew, taking them to the beach, going off to play tennis. Ali and Henry were going to spend a day at tennis camp while my sister and I took my MIL shopping.  


On the last day of my trip, I was going to hook up with Lee Kolbert, having lunch, sunning at the beach, hanging out.  I would come back tanned and relaxed, with four days left to do school work, laundry, and shopping before school started.  Ahhhhh!

So what happened?  First, we left our New York airport 15 minutes late.  This brought us to our connecting airport, Philadelphia, too late to catch our plane.  Remember the huge snow storm that brought my house 25 inches of snow?  That backed up flying so much that the airlines were very quick to give away our seats early.  And the soonest they could get us on another flight was Monday.  That's Thursday to Monday.  By Monday, we would have missed the whole Parisi clan.  So we turned around and came home.


On the way home, with Ali crying, me crying, my sister crying on the phone, we tried to find the silver lining.  Maybe we could go skiing instead.  Maybe we could head into the city to some museums.  Maybe we could find some new restaurants to try, go to some movies, etc.  But, on the way home, my throat started....

Well, by the time we got home, I had a lovely cough.  In fact, it was so bad that I couldn't sleep through the night.  I was exhausted waking up at 3 in the morning.  Then the lightheadedness and runny nose started.  Before I knew it, I was flat on my back in bed for the week. So we didn't go skiing, or to the museums, or to new restaurants.  We did go to the movies twice, me fully stocked with cough drops to make it through. After each one, we headed home so I could go back to bed.


This morning, Saturday, I woke up with the realization that I had slept through the whole night without coughing.  It took the entire vacation.  This should be the crummiest vacation ever.  But it wasn't.  

I certainly rested enough.  And, while I really hated being sick and coughing and blowing my nose, it was kind of nice to have a reason to stay in bed all day.  I really think I needed to do that.  And, I spent some great time with my family at home.  We pulled out all the old movies of Ali.  Hours of us staring at an infant (why did we think that was so exciting when she was born?), hours of her funny jokes and conversations, great moments of her explanations as to why she was crying.  (My favorite one - "Why are you crying?"  "Daddy sent me to my room." "Why did he send you to your room?  What did you do?" "I climbed on the dishwasher." "And what did Daddy say?" "He said, No climbing on the dishwasher." "So what did you do?" "I climbed on the dishwasher.") We also did lots of cooking together: two trays of cookies, an apple pie, chicken stew, and spaghetti sauce.  And the best part of that was I wasn't allowed to really touch the food since I was germy so I just hung out and watched.  We shopped, using up all my holiday gift cards.  I connected with quite a few online friends, had a great meeting with Paul Bogush, Karen Janowski, and Christine Southard about our Educon 2.2 presentation, and worked quite a bit on the book I am writing with Brian Crosby.

So silver lining?  Had we made it to Florida, I would have loved seeing everyone but it would have been hectic trying to see my MIL and my sister all at the same time.  I would have been in my sister's house keeping everyone awake with my coughing. There would have been no time to relax, which is what I really needed to do after the first half of this school year.  And my husband, daughter, and I, who have all been overly busy since September, wouldn't have had so much time to bond with each other.


It did take me until now to see the silver lining.  I did spend quite a bit of time feeling sorry for myself.  But I know now that I am rested, happy, and ready to go back to work.  And that is what vacation is all about - a time for renewal.


I think my New Year's Resolution is going to be to search harder for the silver lining when a gray cloud comes into my life.  There always is one.  And it's time to stop wallowing and start enjoying whatever life brings. Don't you agree?


Happy New Year!







Image: 
'We're a little bit behind schedule...' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/20715319@N07/4215767192
'happy christmas everybody!' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31493432@N08/3131341442
'Have a splash this year' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/13774211@N00/2154937296
'i hate jetblue' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/81513646@N00/854483426
'Anti-Cough.' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/25754408@N00/363043497
'silver lining' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66994844@N00/237327475
'A Toast to the New Year!' 
http://www.flickr.com/photos/61963330@N00/2168022622